“It looks like you’ve got your hands full”

Last week, my son turned 2 years old and my daughter turned 6 months old.

It’s hard to believe I just graduated from the “2 under 2” club. I’ve been experiencing one of those existential feelings where it feels like they both were just born while simultaneously feeling like the Titanic “it’s been 84 years” meme. 

Before my daughter was born, I spent a lot of time wondering how I’d manage leaving the house and going about business as usual with an infant and a toddler. I’d be at Target with my son and spot a mom with two toddlers in the cart, quietly observing her from the other side of the diaper aisle looking for clues that would help me understand how she was doing it. Sure, I could have mustered up some vulnerability to ask her for some tips as a soon-to-be mom of 2, throwing in a little “you’re doing great” for encouragement, but did I actually do that? No, that would be weird. 

The first step to figuring things out was accepting that there was no more “business as usual”. Things were going to change, just as they changed when my first was born. That’s what’s fun about babies – they change so fast that once you think you have “it” figured out, something else changes and you have to adapt. 

Once I accepted that things were obviously going to change and I had no idea how that would look until I was in it, I stopped worrying about it and told myself that I’d figure it out. I knew I’d figure it out because in the words of that one business lady with the shiny hair, “everything is figureoutable”. When I look back on all the big life changes I’ve made, like quitting my job to freelance, starting a new business venture, and buying a house that needed $50,000 in immediate renovations, I think about the things I didn’t know in the beginning and realize how I figured them all out over time. It always works out one way or another, which gives me the confidence to know that I will, in time, figure out how to juggle myself and 2 tiny kids as well. 

And I did. My top trick? Babywearing. I wear this girl everywhere and fortunately, she loves it. I’m even wearing her right now – not in a carrier, but she’s propped up on my chest with a Boppy pillow with my laptop on a throw pillow behind her. This is how I get both kids to nap simultaneously so I can rot on the couch for 1-2 hours midday. If I put her in her crib, she will probably stay down, but only for the typical 30-minute baby sleep cycle. If I let her sleep on me, she will stay asleep for much longer and I get the cozy baby cuddles that I’ll cry thinking about 2 years from now. 

When we’re out and about, I’ve become loyal to the Tula Explore carrier, which does both a front and back carry for babies up to 45 pounds. I could use it to carry my 30-pound toddler and push the baby in the Doona or regular stroller, but I’d rather save my back and I don’t think he’d want to be contained to that extent. He’s an aquarius and I never wore him much as a baby anyway.

The Tula is pricey but has great back support for when you’re chasing a toddler around the park and end up having to surfboard-carry him back to the stroller. It’s also helpful for getting both kids in and out of the car, since a barely 2 year old still doesn’t understand “please stand here and don’t move while I buckle her in” and my intrusive thoughts about my child getting loose in a parking lot keep me from taking these risks. For now, I’ll keep her contained at my chest so I can wrangle him into his seat while a boomer stops their car to tell me “it looks like you’ve got your hands full”. 

Yes, yes I do. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.